Day 1...

So - here we are... day 1 after first failed cycle... kinda sucks...

but - try to think positive, right?

As most of you know, I have IF's for IP's - they are P & M
They wanted M to go first with his embryos - doesn't matter to me, this was a decision between a couple that has no bearing on me...
~~~ this may be too much info for some people, and I'm not sure how much of this I should really be sharing... but I will edit later if necessary....

to begin, he had 5 embryos. Day of transfer, first 2 (of great quality) didn't make the thaw - arrested shortly after..

they thawed 2 more of good quality - after the thaw, they went to not-so-good quality, hence the chemical.

now he has one - that they grew out to a blast and re-froze... not so great quality on that one either.

P has 8 embryos - mostly great quality.

Original this morning, we were going to transfer one of each... which I think is the most coolest option...

Then the clinic email the guys to tell them that P's embryos are frozen two to a straw - our options are:
1.) transfer only p's embryos
2.) transfer one of each and either destroy the other of p's or grow it out and freeze it
3.) transfer all 3 if we all (me included) are agreed to this.

so you know the entire story:
M's blast is 5cell grade c (best being 8cell grade A)
P's embryos are
8c gr A
8c gr b

IP's are willing to carry on with pregnancy is Triplets take - me too.. would prefer this over a reduction..., but anything higher than triplets, we would have to reduce...

i've always heard the "Only transfer what you are willing to carry"..... and I would definitley don't want a reduction.

I played devil's advocate with M today - it was actually quite cute - he really doesn't want to upset the apple cart and doesn't want to do anything that will offend me (please, are you serious?!?)

So, I asked him if this was 'hypothetically' his pregnancy, would he reduce ? And he said no.... then I said, take my feelings out of the equation... if we are so lucky as to get a positive pregnancy on the next test, and we get to the ultrasound and we see triplets, what is your gut reaction... he said:
OHMYGOD!! I would LOVE it!

I think we were both scared to talk about this huge 'could be' situation.. I'm not sure why, we just were... we had always thought the other one would want to reduce - but neither of us does! LOL

that's about it for today - I really could keep writing, but I'm being called for dinner.. :)

Onwards and Upwards

So sorry to leave you all hanging... I just haven't had the patience to update....

Beta on Wednesday came back at 44 - was starting to get cautiously optimistic since it doubled from Monday.

Beta today came in at 52 - so I am stopping Meds...

Onwards and Upwards - we had all had the suspicion in our minds that this was going to happen so it isn't that hard to take..

We are now hoping that the clinic will allow us to cycle quick.... ! :)

I will update more about life later.... right now, i am sick as a dog and the couch is calling me!!

Judgement Day...

~updated to include beta results...

here we are... 13dp3dt....

I really don't know how I feel right now - I was really nervous about the bloodtest until my IF's txt'd me to not be... "whatever will be, will be" they said.... which is very thoughtful...

I think as Surrogates, we feel as if we have the entire world on our shoulders - well at least I do right now - and no one has said anything to make me feel that way! It's just me putting that on myself.

My hubby has been great - telling me to try not to stress over it - there isn't anything I could have done different... but then I think, but if I hadn't walked across the street after the transfer to get a sandwich (literally, 5 minutes) - OR if i'd stayed on bedrest longer (stayed on the couch for 2 days).. anything..

This could all be a moot point - I've had the blood test - now I'm just waiting for the results.,

I should have stolen the song from Duck's blog - the post that she wrote the day she was waiting for her BETA number to come in - that is really how I'm feeling at this moment..

Whatever will be - will be..... I can't change anything now......

Signing off until Beta results are in.....


BETA is In !!!!
13dp3dt - 22~~~
I am very pleased with the jump that happened over the weekend! I go back for a repeat on Wednesday - will update then!!! :)